What I learned

A few weeks ago, all 4 of my kids went to VBS.

On the 3rd day, I got a call to come and pick Henry up.

He had bit a little girl because she sat in the seat he wanted.

I was heartbroken.  We have walked a hard road with Henry in his few short years of life.  It feels like we are constantly disciplining, correcting, encouraging,etc. with him. 

Several emotions went through me as I drove to pick him up.

Anger

Frustration

Embarrassment

Sadness

Everyone at the church was extremely kind and caring.

I chose to take Henry home and not let him go back the rest of the week.

The next day, my mom was going to pick the kids up and take them back to her house.

Which meant that I would have an entire day alone!

However, we felt it would not be right to let Henry experience the blessing of going to Grandma's because of the behavior he showed. 

Which meant, he was with me. . . all day. 

A friend of mine texted me and asked how I was doing.

As I wrote back, here is what struck me. 

I was praying that I would not be angry at Henry because things did not go the way I wanted.

Not only did I not get the day to myself like planned, I was spending it with the kid that takes the most of my energy.

This is EXACTLY what happened with Henry.

He got angry and acted out because he did not get what he wanted!

So here is what I have learned being a parent to Henry this summer.

1. Love.  I need to continue to show love even when he continues to sin, over and over.

    It is what Christ does for me. 

Romans 5:8  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

2. Compassion.  It is so easy as a parent to look at other parents/kids and question their parenting skills/choices and think, "if they just did it this way, their kid would behave better." So not true.
I am now the parent whose child misbehaves in Sunday School.  I am struck by the fact that we need to encourage one another on to love and good deeds (esp. in parenting), but I will not give an account for other parents choices to God so I do not need to act like I will.
3. Endurance.  I hope and pray that Henry's sinful heart is changed and that he comes to know the Lord.  I longingly pray for it!  But, I also know this could be a lengthy road.  I am grateful that the Lord gives us His Word to guide us.  And I hold onto it!   I cannot change Henry's heart.  Only God can.  Pete and I are set to endure through these challenging times, no matter how long or short, with thanksgiving!
Hebrews 12: 1-3  Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ^{2 [a]}fixing our eyes on Jesus, the ^[b] author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
³ For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary ^[c] and lose heart.
4.  Blessing.  In Sunday School this past Sunday, we talked about the blessing of hard things. 
So much good has come from these hard days of parenting.  Pete and I have grown so much through this.  You can see this list of items to see just the beginning of the blessings the Lord has given us during these days.
5.  Gospel.  We share the gospel a lot! with Henry!!  My oldest 2 are pretty easy going and have not required much discipline.  So we haven't had the opportunity to share the gospel as much with them.  Because our entire family has been involved in Henry's life, we all talk about what Christ did on the cross for us. How our only escape from the darkness of sin, is through Christ's shed blood.   I encourage the older ones to teach the younger and pray that his heart softens to embrace salvation.

On that day, after Henry helped me with all the chores and errands, we went out for a Coke.

We enjoyed our time together.

And I can say, that I was genuinely joyful that he was with me on a day, when my expectations were very different from what happened. 

 

I pray that we can encourage one another in loving our children as Christ loves us.

Knowing that we do not hold the power to produce good in our kids, only God does.

And all of this is only possible through the great grace of God!!!!!!